Bullying Is Bad

It's something we learn when we're children, running home in tears after being cornered by the big kids, jostled around, called names, threatened for our differences - either interpreted or blatant - jeered at, made to force back our tears. It is said that everyone had a bully growing up, and if you can't remember his name it was probably you (unless you're a weird loner kid like I was, who mildly participated on either side off and on). It feels horrible to be bullied, and the easiest reaction to succumb to is that of revenge.

We can see a prime example of grown men engaging in this juvenile behavior that, I'm becoming more and more convinced, is one of the most difficult habits to grow out of. First, we have popular sex advice columnist and LGBTQ activist Dan Savage, of whom I am an unashamed fan, who famously redefined Rick Santorum's last name as a disgusting reference to anal sex in 2003; luckily for the now current presidential candidate because of his inexplicable success in the Republican primary yesterday, that definition is no longer the first result when you enter his name into Google. Explaining why he did it (to Santorum and not other politicians who hurt the LGBTQ cause, such as Obama), Dan Savage says:

It was Santorum equating loving, committed same-sex relationships with dog f***ing and child rape... Santorum argued in favor of states being allowed to arrest, prosecute, and imprison Americans—gay and straight—for private, consensual, adult sexual conduct. Santorum cemented our enmity when he went on to compare gay relationships to incest and Islamic terrorism.

I can read the pain in Savage's words here, and I can't blame him, someone being bullied to such an extreme - even more than bullied: denied basic civil rights - just "for the way he loves." The same pain is evident in his recurring blog post theme "O They Will Know We Are Christians When..." where he vilifies the Christians who vilify homosexuals.

But along with the pain there is a toxic hatred, and the bullying has reversed course. Savage himself writes like an insecure bully, and his prank on Rick Santorum is comparable to cyber bullying. Now we have two bullies - Santorum and Savage - fighting their hateful battle on the national stage with rights and legislation on the line. Christians and Republicans who support the LGBTQ cause feel alienated by Savage's hate, and moderate right-wingers who want smaller government are alienated by Santorum's righteous hate. And as the nationwide bullying epidemic increases, the country bears witness to speeches like this one, riddled with groundless hatred:



And the result? Polarization. Is it any wonder a moderate president like Barack Obama could be ridiculed as a godless Socialist by Republicans and a right-wing Republican in disguise by progressives at the same time? There's no room for moderation in a battleground of intimidation and fear.

Of course it's not just Rick Santorum and Dan Savage who perpetrate bullying (remember this charming video from Rick Perry?). But it's a pertinent example because Savage often voices support for anti-bullying legislation to protect gay children in schools, while Santorum feels for some reason I can't quite fathom that Obama is doing all he can to destroy God in America, as the video above shows.

How can two people be so vehemently against bullying while being such bullies themselves? No self-respecting teacher would allow such behavior in the classroom, so why is it politics as usual?

This endless cycle of hurt and pained revenge doesn't have to continue. We don't have to put up with such bigotry, both on the right and the left. I don't want to live in a country where the side that bullies best gets the rights and protections of law. If we truly want a country where we coexist and work together for a better future, the America that belongs to everyone as I learned about in school, we cannot tolerate this blatant manipulation of bigotry and bully tactics to gain power and influence. There will always be repression and discrimination as long as the bigots and bullies, the very people the Constitution was written to protect us from, run our country.

But most importantly of all: Don't hate! Don't hate Republicans, Liberals, Muslims, homosexuals, fundamentalists, Jews, or even other hateful people. Don't respond to hatred with more hatred, or else you will have become the very thing you hated in the first place! And if that happens America will become a country of slaves to avarice, oppression, and injustice.

I would like to leave you all with a beautiful story read on the Moth by Ernesto Quiñonez about the dangers of bullying based on his experiences growing up in Spanish Harlem. Surviving from his own pained and hateful lashing out, he says:

Prejudice is so evil that it can creep up on you, and before you know it you yourself have become the bigot.

Please listen to it here. It's one of the best uses of 12 minutes I can think of.