A Word About Ponyo and Eureka

Ciao, Tutti!

This in an anime day, plus a side of rant. Beware.

First Charlie Kaufman releases Synecdoche, New York. It was forgivable, at least. It was Kaufman's first try writing and directing. But now Hayao Miyazaki has put out Ponyo. I shudder to think what this means for M. Night Shyamalan's upcoming movie (hint: it's based off a TV show I adore, so he better not goof up, so he most certainly will goof up).



I have very little to say about this movie except in warning. Its saving graces I will discuss in tandem with my other object of scorn, Eureka 7 (Eh-oo-reh-kah). Its spoilers I will leave out. But hear this, oh, dear reader who I care about so lovingly: if you have any interest in plot, clarity, or coherence, this is not the movie for you. There was some character development, which was okay. That was it. Seriously. Party's over, folks, time to go home.

Now I would like to compare this movie with one of my latest negative motivators, Eureka 7. I wasted just about an entire weekend watching 50 episodes of this television show I saw in progress when I was in high school. Now I was back to see the ending. I didn't miss much.



I should clarify: it wasn't a waste of time. The last episode just made it feel like a waste of time. It pissed me off to no end, actually. Basically, (spoiler) the point of the entire - entire - show was to work up to the most melancholy, meaningless kiss ever seen on a screen anywhere.

Everyone, go to my First Regrets myspace page and listen to "Not a Love Song." It played in my head during the last moments of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and it was playing again with a fervor here (and I used to think the Avatar series finale was a disaster). News flash, writers: there is no way to make a kiss dramatic enough to warrant all that build-up!

This relates to Ponyo very obviously. Basically because the tiny figment of plot in Ponyo was the same as the overriding plot in Eureka 7. Namely that (spoiler) the world is in immediate danger and the only way to save it is through the love of two kids... for some reason. In Eureka 7, Renton is 14. In Ponyo, the kids are 5. Perhaps the movie would be best seen by a 5-year-old, but I sure as heck wouldn't be able to explain why Ponyo's transformation into a human threatens the balance of nature and therefore all of existence.

At least in Eureka 7 there's action. At least the characters in Ponyo were pretty well-developed and fun. At least there was humor in each.

At least I'm not writing anything like that.

Sorry to burst everyone's bubbles.

-Sam goldsmith