Sam Goldsmith

A blog about music, travel, writing, photography, politics, Istanbul, teaching, life, and everything in between

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Sudden Fiction - Another Turns Over

Ciao, Tutti!

So I have discovered some very important things while typing up my Istanbul journal:

1) The writing is terrible. Just disgraceful. Not only can I not tell what I am writing half the time, but I often write ahead of my own thoughts. I have to edit it substantially for it to make any sense to anyone else, referring to characters (people) I know but no one else does. This editing process, while being something I wanted to avoid, is inevitable. Darn it.

2) It is long! I knew it was long already, but to make the absolute minimal post, which would cover a day of adventures, is ridiculously long. Like, 20 pages long. It will bore you all to tears if I put it in the way it is now. And, with Nana and Papa and Aunt Jan visiting, I don't think I will be able to work on it anytime soon. And work is starting on Monday.... sigh!

3) It takes until day 2 for me to meet any of the Turkish people, and it takes until day 3 to realize how awesomely cool they are. So the language is pretty dry until about midway through. In short: also boring!

So, to give the world something exciting while it waits (because I know you're all waiting on the edges of your park benches where you all live after the stock market crashed), I am going to share with you a sudden fiction story I wrote that will BLOW. YOUR. HAIR. OUT. OF. PLACE.

Which is just a little too high up there to blow your mind.

Also, thank you everyone for making my latest MySpace upload, "My Own Fault," the #14 song in the online world!

That is the message you will see if you follow this link and listen to the song "My Own Fault" enough times. Let's work together to make this happen, folks.

In other news, look out for the Sam Goldsmith undetermined group at the Cheeseboard on an undetermined day each week. Um, I'll have details soon, assuming I can get myself motivated... But I posted it! So now there's no turning back! Hand me that phone, secretary!

Mom: [grumbles]

Another Turns Over
292 Words

He cleared his throat. “The truth is that there’s someone else.”

Davora tried, without much success, to silence the violently quivering breaths sputtering between her lips. “So,” she managed at a near whisper, “That’s it? After all we’ve been through?”

“I’m sorry, Davora.” He cruelly maintained eye contact with her, unwavering from either sadness or remorse. “This is for the best.”

“For the best?” she demanded, her distress swinging towards anger. “I gave it my best effort every day, and I played my absolute hardest to make it work.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated slowly, calmly. “This isn’t an easy thing for me, either, but I’ve thought about it for a while, and…”

“What does she have that I don’t?” Davora interrupted. “I’m just as good as her.”

“Well, she has this amazing mid-range jumper that you just can’t compete with,” he said with forthright simplicity. “And we could really use the offense.”

“But Coach Johnson,” she pleaded, her pointed resolve crumbling as the inevitable truth wrapped around her like a straight jacket. “I’ve been on the team for three years, and I’ve always helped us win big games. Don’t I deserve to play for the championship?”

“As you know, I decide who plays based on merit, not seniority,” he said, his facial expression still slack. “Again, I’m really sorry this has to be so painful for you.”

This formal, legally sound language closed any possibility to avoid rejection. Davora closed her eyes and humiliated herself in front of her coach by letting her tears go, a display of immature grief she wished she could handle more gracefully. Coach Johnson kissed her trembling, swollen lips in that familiar way, except now it had the foreboding pain of being the last.

Fine

I'll get to work on the Istanbul journal. Hopefully you can get your hair back in place by my next post.

Monday, June 1, 2009


Ciao, Tutti!

California's political and economic environment sucks, and the sun isn't even shining, so what's the point?

In better news, there is a new song up on my first regrets myspace page, which can be found at if you're interested. The song is called "My Own Fault," and it's a breakup song! Oh, boy! Actually, it's just a song, but it could be a break up song if you want. Whatever.

Women. Huh.

In other news, THERE IS NO OTHER NEWS! It's summer vacation, and while I could be productive by typing up my Istanbul travel log (like I promised) I have instead been preoccupied with a combination of nostalgic childhood memorabilia, White Rabbits music, friends living in Turkey, playoff basketball and hockey, and vocal harmony. And what do those things all have in common? The fact that they are totally boring when blogged about.

Hopefully next time I will write back 1) sooner, and 2) longer.
-Sam goldsmith

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I Guess I Should Start My Storytelling

Ciao Tutti!

I've put it off for too long now. Daunted by the impossibly humungous task of telling my Istanbul story with any semblance of conveying the incredibly transformative effect it had on me, I have continuously put off its telling. Maybe if I use big enough words and contrived enough sentences I can make up for it.

Recently I finished my travel log, embarrassed that it took nearly 2 months to finish the travel log for a 1-week trip. The good news is that it's finished. The bad news is that it's 105 pages long, so posting the entire thing on this blog with not only BORE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU ALL, but probably crash the Internet in the process. I'm just kidding, of course. I know very well that four score and 25 pages isn't enough to crash the Internet. Either way, I do want to type up what I wrote so that it can have some permanence in case of a fire or something like that, do my love of Istanbul and its wonderfully warm people can continue in some shape or form, and as I read I will select my favorite stories and put them on this blog for you all.

Happy?

Sorry there are no pictures. I am working on my mom's computer right now, so no pictures yet. Refer to my first Istanbul blog for those, okay? I'm glad we have an understanding.

For those of you who hate reading introductions, start here

Whenever someone asks me about Istanbul, I like to tell this story. I like to tell this story because I want to demonstrate the full extent of how warm and welcoming the now-good friends I met in Istanbul were, even though we had never met each other except through a few force-fed emails written with our professors looking over our shoulders ("Hi, we have a research paper to write and so do you. Can you speak English?"). Basically, we didn't know each other at all. And yet they were so unconditionally accepting and friendly to us, overflowingly so.

My friend from New York, Julia, was talking with our Turkish friend, Merve [MAR ve] outside a high school we had just visited. Julia is a girl who is always smiling and always has something nice to say, even when things are not so nice inside her head. So with this in mind, Julia noticed Merve's flowing purple scarf and said,

"Oh, Merve, that is a beautiful scarf!"

"Do you like it?" said Merve, holding one of the ends (I remember this so distinctly). "My mother made it for me."

"She did?" gasped Julia, who can also be a little dramatic at times. "It is so beautiful! She did a wonderful job."

Wide-eyed and sincerely, Merve asked, "Do you want to keep it?" She held one of the ends out.

It took Julia a few seconds to realize that she was serious. "Oh, no! I can't take that from you! Your mother made it for you!"

"Well," reasoned Merve. "My mother can make me another."

In the end Julia did not take the scarf, too kind a gift. But I like this story because it shows a kindness and a pure joy in seeing others happy. Merve would have rather seen her scarf with Julia and make her happy than around her own neck. There was no passive-aggressive desire in Julia's voice or eyes during the brief conversation, and there was no sense of Merve feeling pressured or feeling any regret for offering. It was nearly automatic to be nice.

There are other examples of this sort of gift-giving I could draw upon. I wanted to buy a single Turkish tea cup, but they only came in sets. After bantering with store owners in Turkish on my behalf, Gizem [Gi-zem] said that she would give me one of her old cups. "I have so many," she laughed. Once she bought me some special Turkish chocolates to taste, and had to repress her feeling of being offended when I offered to pay. She explained to me, "In Turkey you should never do that. Here we give gifts, and you should just say 'tesekkuler.'" I learned quickly.

I suppose before I go on I should explain what I was doing in Istanbul in the first place. Simply put, I was there to do research. And we actually did research. In fact, sight-seeing was unimportant to my experience there. I did see the major monuments (though we had no time to see the Archeology museum where Alexander the Great's tomb is and where the oldest surviving peace treaty is), but the hi-light was meeting and falling in love with the people. This was possible because NYU was paired up with a university in downtown Istanbul, Bahcesehir [BAH-che-she-hir] University. We were in contact with a psychology class there, and the students there, as well as our amazing tour guide Yasin, were our chaperones throughout our time in the city.

I should say now before I forget: In our group there were 20 girls and 8 boys. In their group there were 42 girls and 6 boys. So if you heard any rumors that I was a ladies man during the trip, they are absolutely true. That is, if being nice to people who happen to be mostly ladies = ladies man. It was impossible not to be! Give me a break!

Back to business.

Because we were there to study, we saw a lot of things that none of my readers will probably ever see. We were studying "Perceptions of Islam," especially pertaining to education, so we visited a variety of schools, both public and private, throughout the city. We also attended lectures at the university to learn about psychological and migrational issues, especially with regards to young children and adolescents. Lectures were all in English at Bahcesehir, and all the students were required to know English to attend school, some having taken a year of English prep. Even the Turkish professors, like our NYU visiting professor contact and program orchestrator Dr. Sirin, lecture in English despite the fact that everyone speaks Turkish best.

I am getting side-tracked. I knew this would happen.

By the way, "Sirin" = "cute" in Turkish. Isn't that cute?

I'm getting side-tracked again.

The point is that we did a lot of studying, and by the time we got around to any free time at the end of the schedule when all the museums were closed. Besides, it was more interesting to spend time with my new friends on the streets of Taksim rather than doing that mechanical tourist thing I learned in Italy.

My topic for research was "Perceptions of Turkish Politics," which was a good choice because local elections were being held a week after we were to leave, so it was on everyone's mind. There were flags everywhere, and that is not an exaggeration. They were draped back and forth across the streets and around poles. Posters for the parties adorned every surface, and busses paraded down the streets with megaphones, blasting party propaganda or the party song. I was eager to talk with the Bahcesehir students about politics, and I was glad that they were equally as eager to teach me, lessening my fear of being politically incorrect in a foreign country. I quickly learned that most of my new friends were either unhappy with the political system as it is or foretelling another wave of depression in this new set of elections. The religious party, the AKP, has been in control since 2002, which was chaffing my friends considerably. However, the CHP, party of national hero and country founder Ataturk, is like the Democratic party when Bush was elected: more competent as a party but filled with inadequate leadership. In fact, the Turks would explain their repeated election of Erdogan as similar to our reelection of Bush. Just as often that I would ask, "Why did the country vote for the AKP if they are so horrible?" they would ask, "Why did you vote for Bush again?" Of course this is a blanket statement and doesn't apply to all, but many people I talked with were fairly outspoken. And they tended to be curious about American politics as well. Quite a few wanted to know what Obama thought about Turkey, and I found out that most of the country believed Obama to be a Muslim (It was a big deal that he wanted to eat pork when he gave a speech there in April).

I can go on and on, as you can see. Mandatory voting, European Union relations, religion in public, and other issues are all visible everywhere in Turkish society, so I'm sure I'll be able to cover it all, assuming I actually UPDATE THIS BLOG EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!

Before I say arrivaderci, there is one more important element of our trip, which was the email correspondence, which was very important even with our professors looking over our shoulders. Actually, the professors were more important to the others; I had a free-flowing correspondence every day with my Turkish pen pal leading up to the trip. And I was paired up with one of the 6 boys, Can [JOHN, roughly], which ended up being a great thing. Into playing music, history, writing stories, writing music, and political musings, we hit it off right away. Of course it helped that he spoke English very well, and he proved to be the best English speaker of the Turkish group. It is really impossible to explain with any adequacy how much he individually reached out to me short of posting the 60 emails we sent back and forth before the trip. It was the kind of thing that could make someone believe in Internet dating; it really is possible to connect to someone so deeply, so quickly, without even knowing what the other person looks like or how to pronounce his name (I was still calling him that thing soup comes in).

On the first day that we met our Turkish ambassadors, Can, 6'3" with Jesus-style red hair, a thin beard, and the English word "trust" tattooed on his arm, invited me to Taksim for dinner and a drink. I knew what he looked like from some pictures he sent me, but it was quite different in person. He really stood out, and would prove to be the beacon to follow on a crowded street ("Follow the hair!" he would say). We were to meet in the hotel lobby at 6:00. I told Julia and my four wives (Oooh, another story for another time! Ladies man...) that they should come so we could get to know our Turkish partners better, or to know them for the first time. Our American group soon ballooned to 7 girls and me. I started to feel very guilty; what if Can had wanted to have dinner and drink with me alone? We were partners, after all. I asked my roommate and bandmate Jordan if I was making a mistake, and he said,

"No European guy would ever say no to a large group of American girls."

Just to be safe, I went to the lobby earlier than the other Americans to apologize (and to give Can an "I love New York" T-shirt I had brought for him), and there he was taking up the entire lobby with 8 Turkish girls. I had nothing to apologize about. Our giant group took to a restaurant, and jet-lag was no longer a factor. Only adrenaline and joy mattered, even that early on.

The next day Dr. Sirin asked me, "Did you see Can last night?"

I said, "Yes. Did he tell you?"

He said, "No, I could just tell."

-Sam goldsmith

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Crap, I Need To Blog a Lot more Often, Guys!!! (C.A.N.T. B.L.O.G.)

Ciao, Tutti,

Wow, it has been so long since my last message! Well, be prepared to be disappointed once again. Until finals are completely over and my still unfinished Istanbul travel log reaches its triumphant conclusion, I am afraid I can't spend too much time on this site. As I speak I should be writing a fugue. Or something for my private composition teacher using the Fibonacci series.

However, I can give you a little preview of all the good stuff yet to come! Good stuff not including Detroit sports as of the moment, but good stuff as in my life. Sorry to disappoint.

1) Megan and Jordan and I have been recording music like maniacs, and we have a new song in the works, a piece Megan wrote called "Rose-Colored Spectacles." I have been listening to the rough mix on loop, and it sounds like awesome on a stick. As soon as we have it posted online I will provide the link for everyone. As soon as finals are over we will get to work on a piece I wrote called "Silent Stairs," a version of which already exists on my First Regrets myspace page. In other news about our band, we finally have agreed upon a name: Owl Eyes. We're going to be named after the minor character in the Great Gatsby. I'm so excited!

2) I performed a piece that one of my friends wrote, an extremely difficult modern classical piece for vibes and alto saxophone. I worked it up for a while and we performed it so well at his recital. I m still waiting for a copy of the recording, but when I get it you can be guaranteed that it will go up on my myspace page for everyone to hear. My friend, Leo, is an amazing composer, and this piece is something special, so I highly recommend you all listen when I finally post it.

3) I guess I still have to write to you about what happened in Istanbul to change my life so drastically. My original plan was to transcribe the non-personal parts of my travel log to the computer for you all, but as the log grows this task seems ever too daunting. Don't worry. I'll be sure to write something. But I don't quite know what it will be at this point. And pictures, too!

4) I will be playing the role of EXTRA in the music video for my roommate's band, The Middle Eight, for the song "Love Pass It On." Someday this video will be finished and up on this site. This is also the song that is featured in the forthcoming romantic comedy featuring Kathrine Zeta-Jones (I think I spelled that right...), "The Rebound," whose release has been stalled all year long. Anyway, in the music video I get to hand an apple to a girl who is passed out on the street. Don't know what that means? Neither do I!

5) Eventually I would like to get back to writing short stories again, but until then you have to hold your horses. I've got some ideas cooking in my brain, but they're currently taking a backseat to the music I'm writing. Oh, and finals.

6) For my difficult history class, Health Environments, I was invited to submit my final term paper to the national history society for publishing. I think I'm going to do it, even though I don't know if I use what they would call a "primary source," one of the requirements for submission. Either way, I'll let you know how it goes. I've been working all semester and even part of last semester on this paper, and I'm really proud of the end result. I hope for the best.

7) Hillary Clinton is speaking at graduation this year. Why couldn't she wait another year? That would make me want to go...

I should get back to work. Sorry for being so out of touch, everyone, but life comes first. Keep an eye out for more blogs. They will happen... they really will...

-Sam goldsmith

Monday, March 30, 2009

Istanbul Introduction

Ciao, Tutti!

Well, I have a lot to write about. So much to write about, in fact, that I won't even try to get it done right now, right here. There will eventually be a number of blog posts to describe my transformative week in Istanbul, Turkey. It's just too hard. I'm up to page 68 in my Moleskin notebook (and not the tiny pocket kind!), and I've only made it to Friday evening. So I have to finish writing that before I can start over at the beginning again for all of you guys! Yay!

But some of you have been bugging me for some pictures, so I'll give you a little tease here. If you don't know what the captions mean, then I laugh at your impending surprise! Hahahaha! In all honesty, I have not yet sorted through the 500 or so pictures I took over the week. That's another reason I am so behind on the blog. I'll give you best ones I've seen so far, okay?

In other news, there is new music available to listen for free! First of all, the indie/folk/rock/pop band I am in with my friends Megan and Jordan (Jordan came to Istanbul with me!) have recorded our first piece, which you can listen to on Megan's MySpace Page! I'll post the link below for you all. The song is called "Pleasure Dive," and I play Bass, Lead Guitar, and Lead Back-up Vocals, whatever that means.

http://www.myspace.com/meganjustina

I have also posted a new song under my one-man band page, First Regrets. The new song is called True-Romantique, and despite its short length I'm strangely proud of it. Traditional audiences beware! And be quiet, everyone. She might be listening in, too.

http://www.myspace.com/firstregrets

Okay, that's all for now! Drive safe, everyone!

-Sam goldsmith


At the Student Party. From left to right: Ekin, Maja, Julia, Kaitlyn.


The one good group photo. Our backs to the Bosporus.


A Dangerous Street. I shouldn't tell Nana about this story...


Hippodrome


Julia with one of Istanbul's many cats.


Primary School Insanity


Me, My Turkish Brother Can, and Julia. Julia is in a lot of these pictures, it seems...


BESIKTAS VS. GALATASARAY! EPIC WAR!!!!!! Brian and Me.


In the Blue Mosque/Hagia Sofia Area. From Left to Right: Can, Julia, Yagmur, Hazal, Maja, Me, Ecem, Ekin, Canan.


My Four Wives. From Left to Right: Maja, Boyoung, Esther, Julia.