For years of returning home to Berkeley from New York during my university, I've felt my hometown slipping away from me, feeling less and less like home. I would fall into a standstill where my life acquired abroad had no impact on the life I lead back home. I would fall into old lazy habits and spend my time reminiscing instead of progressing. Creativity would slow up and procrastination would rule - which is okay when I'm on vacation but still distanced me from that feeling of home sweet home and introduced the feeling of having nowhere that held the special place in my heart.
As I said before, Istanbul started feeling like a home to me before I left. I felt entirely comfortable there. And yet as I return to Berkeley I feel the same about this place as well, more at home than I've felt here in years. Maybe it's because I was gone for so long, about 8 months longer than I've ever been gone before. But either way, despite being afraid that returning to America would be a let-down, I'm glad to be back.
Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Coming Home Announcement
Just so that everyone knows, I've finally got my plane ticket to come home for June 21, 4 days after the last day of school, and I won't be coming back to teach here again next year.
That said, please don't ask about my plans for the year to come because they're spotty at best. It's hard to think about the reality of America with its oversize cars and disgusting news media and paranoia around teachers and sexual deviants and its reluctance to notice poverty and its rampant rampant conservatism while I'm so far away, not to mention how I'd fit in to all of it.
I know I haven't posted a new song in a while (or anything, but that's the absent internet's fault), but that's not because I've stopped working on my First Regrets CD project. In fact, I'm just about 90% done with all the recording off all the tracks, and I've got 3 or 4 tracks you haven't heard that are just about ready for sharing. I'm still waiting for some guest tracks from friends back home that will hopefully make the whole concept pristine. So keep your pants on a little longer...
...a lot longer...
Okay, while you wait (with your pants on... I'm warning you) I've got another music video: an acoustic version of Old Liar I recorded in the park on Sunday. The sound's kind of low, even after editing, so I'm sorry if you can't hear everything. I also did a video of a Fenomen/City Love medley that is coming soon, plus I have plans for a No Meaning video. On top of that I'm writing some instrumental guitar music that won't be on the record, but I might make videos of. So don't worry: the musical creativity is still flowing.
That said, please don't ask about my plans for the year to come because they're spotty at best. It's hard to think about the reality of America with its oversize cars and disgusting news media and paranoia around teachers and sexual deviants and its reluctance to notice poverty and its rampant rampant conservatism while I'm so far away, not to mention how I'd fit in to all of it.
I know I haven't posted a new song in a while (or anything, but that's the absent internet's fault), but that's not because I've stopped working on my First Regrets CD project. In fact, I'm just about 90% done with all the recording off all the tracks, and I've got 3 or 4 tracks you haven't heard that are just about ready for sharing. I'm still waiting for some guest tracks from friends back home that will hopefully make the whole concept pristine. So keep your pants on a little longer...
...a lot longer...
Okay, while you wait (with your pants on... I'm warning you) I've got another music video: an acoustic version of Old Liar I recorded in the park on Sunday. The sound's kind of low, even after editing, so I'm sorry if you can't hear everything. I also did a video of a Fenomen/City Love medley that is coming soon, plus I have plans for a No Meaning video. On top of that I'm writing some instrumental guitar music that won't be on the record, but I might make videos of. So don't worry: the musical creativity is still flowing.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Home
Merhaba!
Good news, bad news, and more good news.
The good news is I’ve moved into my new apartment! As I’m writing this I’m getting ready for my second night here. I unpacked all my things (not to say they’re organized in any particular way) and even made myself my first homemade Turkish dinner!
My romantic first homemade Turkish dinner in my new home
The place is wonderful. It’s got a nice big kitchen with a gas-burning stove, a dishwasher I don’t know how to use, a nice stove, and tiled floors. It’s connected to my spacious living room, which is about as big by itself as any dorm I lived in at NYU. Plus it’s got this huge window that covers almost all the wall and looks out over Bahçeşehir and lets in all sorts of wonderful natural light for reading and seeing things you’re looking for without turning on lights. There’s a cozy bathroom with a washing machine, which I also don’t know how to use (not that it stops me) and a tiny square shower with a broken door that will be fixed tomorrow. There’s also a bedroom with carpet – carpet! – and plenty of storage space for all the junk I’ve got. Plus I’m fully furnished now with a small couch, a table, 8 chairs (I don’t know why, but they were all provided so I took ‘em), dishes, a bed, a dresser, a bookshelf, a fridge, a couple cheap coffee tables, and other random supplies. Now what I need most of all is a desk and a decent stereo and I’ll be set. Oh, and some decorations. And some visitors, because this place is huge and I’m the only one living in it. That’s right, it’s just me. I need help sitting in all these chairs!
My kitchen is in shambles right now
The other day I spent a good ten minutes opening and closing those giant windows, trying to decide how I liked it better!
The bad news is directly related to the good news: When I moved to the new place I gave up my rights to Internet until at least September 1 (probably meaning much, much later). I’m probably going to post this from a café somewhere – I’m writing it as a Microsoft Word document right now. I’d get it fixed right away if it weren’t for some life’s necessities that need fixing: the shower door, the empty light fixtures that make nighttime pitch black. I’m going to be in sparse contact for a while. I’m hoping it could be fun to try and live without something I’ve taken for granted so much recently. I’ve gone all day without going online, and I’m proud I could make it even if I suffered from withdrawal a couple times throughout the day.
The other good news is that I finished my CELTA training earlier today with a high mark! I think everyone taking the class was ready to be over, but it was still sad to say goodbye to my new friends who will be on their busses to their campuses within the hour. I met a lot of wonderful people working in campuses throughout Turkey. I guess this makes it easier to think about traveling within the country – I have friends wherever I want to go! And I’ve become friends with some of the teachers here at Bahçeşehir, too, so it’s not a total loss. And now that we’re done with training we can get down to business and start thinking about how to make these kids’ lives better! How to enrich them with knowledge about the English language while fostering a love for it at the same time. Hopefully the class helped me with some ways to make that happen, and double-hopefully I had that capacity in myself to begin with.
Bosporus under the clouds
I’m starting to get used to living here. It’s been three weeks now since I’ve moved, and the other day I noticed that the area of town that was once strange to me has now become a part of a routine. I’ve grown so accustomed to people speaking Turkish all around me that I barely even hear it anymore. I don’t feel like I don’t belong anymore – yes, I’m foreign, but this is my home. I’m also learning Turkish as I go, which helps, but I can still barely speak. I’d hoped to be fluent after a month, but that’s obviously not going to be the case (maybe three months?). Still, I belong here. This is my place. This is where I’m going to make a difference in the world. I can feel my ownership of it within my subconsciousness’s assimilation of its differences. And, like my new apartment, I feel for the first time a deep caring for the place I’m in because I want to make a life here. I don’t know how long I’m going to stay in Turkey – my contract is for one year, so it’s going to be some time between that and the rest of my life – but I want to make it home. It’s not like New York, where I knew I was passing through. Here I want to put roots down, even if I leave in the summer of 2011. Istanbul is more to me than just a middle point between me and California, or wherever home is. It’s not home, and it’s not a transitional location. It’s somewhere in the middle.
Good news, bad news, and more good news.
The good news is I’ve moved into my new apartment! As I’m writing this I’m getting ready for my second night here. I unpacked all my things (not to say they’re organized in any particular way) and even made myself my first homemade Turkish dinner!
My romantic first homemade Turkish dinner in my new home
The place is wonderful. It’s got a nice big kitchen with a gas-burning stove, a dishwasher I don’t know how to use, a nice stove, and tiled floors. It’s connected to my spacious living room, which is about as big by itself as any dorm I lived in at NYU. Plus it’s got this huge window that covers almost all the wall and looks out over Bahçeşehir and lets in all sorts of wonderful natural light for reading and seeing things you’re looking for without turning on lights. There’s a cozy bathroom with a washing machine, which I also don’t know how to use (not that it stops me) and a tiny square shower with a broken door that will be fixed tomorrow. There’s also a bedroom with carpet – carpet! – and plenty of storage space for all the junk I’ve got. Plus I’m fully furnished now with a small couch, a table, 8 chairs (I don’t know why, but they were all provided so I took ‘em), dishes, a bed, a dresser, a bookshelf, a fridge, a couple cheap coffee tables, and other random supplies. Now what I need most of all is a desk and a decent stereo and I’ll be set. Oh, and some decorations. And some visitors, because this place is huge and I’m the only one living in it. That’s right, it’s just me. I need help sitting in all these chairs!
My kitchen is in shambles right now
The other day I spent a good ten minutes opening and closing those giant windows, trying to decide how I liked it better!
The bad news is directly related to the good news: When I moved to the new place I gave up my rights to Internet until at least September 1 (probably meaning much, much later). I’m probably going to post this from a café somewhere – I’m writing it as a Microsoft Word document right now. I’d get it fixed right away if it weren’t for some life’s necessities that need fixing: the shower door, the empty light fixtures that make nighttime pitch black. I’m going to be in sparse contact for a while. I’m hoping it could be fun to try and live without something I’ve taken for granted so much recently. I’ve gone all day without going online, and I’m proud I could make it even if I suffered from withdrawal a couple times throughout the day.
The other good news is that I finished my CELTA training earlier today with a high mark! I think everyone taking the class was ready to be over, but it was still sad to say goodbye to my new friends who will be on their busses to their campuses within the hour. I met a lot of wonderful people working in campuses throughout Turkey. I guess this makes it easier to think about traveling within the country – I have friends wherever I want to go! And I’ve become friends with some of the teachers here at Bahçeşehir, too, so it’s not a total loss. And now that we’re done with training we can get down to business and start thinking about how to make these kids’ lives better! How to enrich them with knowledge about the English language while fostering a love for it at the same time. Hopefully the class helped me with some ways to make that happen, and double-hopefully I had that capacity in myself to begin with.
Bosporus under the clouds
I’m starting to get used to living here. It’s been three weeks now since I’ve moved, and the other day I noticed that the area of town that was once strange to me has now become a part of a routine. I’ve grown so accustomed to people speaking Turkish all around me that I barely even hear it anymore. I don’t feel like I don’t belong anymore – yes, I’m foreign, but this is my home. I’m also learning Turkish as I go, which helps, but I can still barely speak. I’d hoped to be fluent after a month, but that’s obviously not going to be the case (maybe three months?). Still, I belong here. This is my place. This is where I’m going to make a difference in the world. I can feel my ownership of it within my subconsciousness’s assimilation of its differences. And, like my new apartment, I feel for the first time a deep caring for the place I’m in because I want to make a life here. I don’t know how long I’m going to stay in Turkey – my contract is for one year, so it’s going to be some time between that and the rest of my life – but I want to make it home. It’s not like New York, where I knew I was passing through. Here I want to put roots down, even if I leave in the summer of 2011. Istanbul is more to me than just a middle point between me and California, or wherever home is. It’s not home, and it’s not a transitional location. It’s somewhere in the middle.
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